the incestuous lives we lead

my previous posts have all pretty much been debby downers. "i have no friends, americans are weird, i have cramps and poor grammar." well, this post is no different. so if you were expecting a happy picture of law school and the sexual relationships we all form, you better close the page now.

last year i didn't really speak to anyone until april [the law was bringing me down] and so i wasn't tapped into the social web of the law school. also, i had a long distance boyfriend so i wasn't spending my time being a floozy [i regret this]. so lets fast forward a year shall we? ill get you up to speed ...

for some reason the law school is a breeding ground for overly hormonal YPs. these festering hormones, combined with the early onsets of alcoholism have created a monster. the sexed up, boozed up, law student. this week person A is sleeping with [seeing/dating/hanging out with exclusively, what have you] person B, only a week after person A cheated on person C with person B. you can make whatever assumptions you want to about this scenario - but it is not a contained, one time only equation. this A-B-C is like the chicken pox plague in the law school.

you remember in grade school when bobby would date lucy for a week [and by date i mean wave to one another on the blacktop], but then break up with lucy because she brought a ham sandwich to school [bobby is jewish]. and then bobby would immediately start dating cindy [who is brought up in a family of vegans]? it is almost as if law school reverts every single one of us back to our fourth grade mentality - we have to pair up, play musical chairs, then switch partners.

unfortunately i had never had this grade school experience. being a late bloomer and not having a *real* boyfriend until i was ... 18?, the grade school relationships were something i only aspired to have - when i was 8. i remember one day when tim mcqueen told me that jeff caswell thought i was cute, i was so excited! finally, i thought, i will fit in with everyone! ill have a boy to wave at on the playground. needless to say i was devastated an hour later at recess when i found out jeff had also told alex forani, tamara smith, and jacqui hayworth that they were cute too. and i swear not five minutes after that - tamara and jeff became boyfriend and girlfriend.

so whats with law school? why do we have the mindset of 8 year olds, the hormones of 16 year olds, and the alcohol tolerance of a pirate? now that i lay it out like that - so systematic of me - its almost an appealing combination. i should probably just go by my new slut dress now at american apparel and sit in the law school commons with a bottle of whiskey - just waiting for the ceiling to fall on me.

another notch on my belt

i forcibly asked a girl in my class [who actually asked about my interest in ballet and encouraged me to come to a school social function] this on facebook yesterday:

what is your favorite fleetwood mac song?
mine is never going back again. think carefully, i will judge you if you don't concur

she hasn't responded.

the october slump

i have an axe to grind, and its with facebook quizzes and people who don't understand dry humor.

its all my fault really. i spend too much time on facebook, and too little time communicating in the real world. i haven't made myself known - i should really censor myself [by that i mean my creepiness and dry sense of humor] until people really know me.

here is what happened..

we are in the middle of october slump in the law school. the semester is more than half way over - and people are starting to freak out about finals - and this time they are really freaking out about finals. study guides are being sold and bought at rapid rates. people are forming study groups all around me.. you get the picture.

in the fix of it all - people seem to have rediscovered facebook. sitting at your computer for hours on end is not all that entertaining unless you have routine facebook breaks every hour [half hour, ten minutes] or so. and the result of this facebook binge? those dumb ass quizzes. now i won't judge anyone for taking them, heck i've taken a few myself, but if you post the result to your profile - be ready to heed the comments that will inevitably come your way.

last night i was bored, more than usual because i had no tv left to watch and i had finished all my readings. i went on facebook. the first thing i saw was this quiz result that this guy in my class had posted. it literally took up a full screen of my facebook home page, "which crazy author are you????". who the fuck comes up with these titles anyways? so his result was 'J.d. salinger', one of my favorite american authors if i must say so. i know a lot about the author, and i've read almost all of his books so obviously i felt entitled to comment. i said "have fun living in a shack". for those of you who don't know, for the better part of his life as an author j.d. salinger shunned main stream america and lived a self sustained life away from everyone in the woods. hey, i'm not judging the guy, i'm just stating the facts. a true tortured artist.

anyways, this guy with the quiz on his profile was quite offended by my comment. so offended that he posted a response to my [very humorous] comment, saying he would be thrilled to live in a shack, and he thought the quiz result was quite accurate - and then DELETED the entire post.

god i hate passive aggressive facebook behavior. its the worst.

[for all of you that know me well, you will realize how hypocritical that statement really is - thus the DRY HUMOR].

anyways - so now this guy won't even look at me at school! i really offended him that much, and i am officially the class leper.

i doubt john cleese ever received this treatment at school.

old habits are hard to break

today i broke my one and only rule for internet use at school. while i was in the library, i went on people.com.

i don't know how it happened. well, actually, yes i do. so i have a small obsession with internet television. i mean, i don't have cable - and i need something to unwind to after a long hard day of briefing and general academic stress. fine. and so i really like awful television. i mean the worst of the worst. i figure i really have to scrape the bottom of the bowl if i want to really and truly tune my mind out of life's many stresses.

so i guess this all sort of culminates in my obsession with celebrity gossip. i mean all sorts of celebrity gossip. all those z list celebrity with their reality shows and what not - it truly is a good tool to use if you want to make your brain turn to mush. which, unfortunately, i often do.

also i just really love gossip.

anyways,

well taking what should have been a two second study break - i youtubed 'jon & kate plus 8' to see if the most recent episode had been put up. it wasn't, but something better was! "jon fired from tlc show". an eight minute video removed from youtube. immediately i thought this could not be true. i mean, no. it just could not be true.

so i really thought about it. i mean thought about it hard. can i wait to confirm this news until after 5pm? do i really need to know now? will it alter my life?

5 seconds later, i was on people.com. and low and behold ... jon was fired from his show.

how do i feel about this? the caving into vices at school thing that is. well i just feel fine about it. now i can truly focus on § 1391 (d) of civ pro all that much better.

library sitting, apple eating etiquette

i've been sitting in the same spot for roughly 5.5 hours.

why?

i did nothing this weekend. i took the weekend as a 'unofficial' holiday weekend. i got a shitty haircut, drank hard cider, watched a mindless amount of tv, and threw my textbooks out the way side.

and where did this leave me?

sitting in the library for 5.5 hours trying to catch up.

now i've been doing a pretty good job. i've revised a couple class outlines, reviewed all my class notes for an exam i have friday, and finished all my readings for tomorrow & some i have for wednesday.

my conundrum is this: how to properly eat an apple in the quiet section of the library? ever since i have arrived at law school, i've discovered something beautiful about the law library... there are no security guards patrolling the stacks, searching for "bad behavior". no one tapping me and showing a sign of "ABSOLUTELY NO FOOD OR DRINKS. ALL STUDENTS MUST SUFFER FOR ACADEMIC SUCCESS". so, obviously, i have taken this new found freedom to heart. every day after morning class i scurry off to the library. eagerly anticipating my class readings over a nice bag full of almonds. but then i come to my apple portion of the day. and this is where i am stumped. i mean, i've seen other people eat apples in the library before, its not like i'm the first rebel here. but, is it just me or am i exceptionally loud when i eat? the chomping, the slurping, the sheer noise of it all! as a temporary remedy to the noise i have decided only to take one bite every five minutes. i'm not sure if this is the best idea. instead of condensing the noise, making it last only as long as possible, i'm extending my ridiculous apple ritual over a period of an hour!

maybe i should consider pears.

first assignment, printed.

our first big, important, life altering assignment is due tomorrow morning at 830am for our legal writing class. i hope mine is legible.

i honestly have never really edited. during highschool i wouldn't even re-read my writing to see if i had managed to string together coherent sentences. in undergrad i pathetically attempted editing. by this i mean i would re-read my papers to see if i had those green & red squiggle lines, and possibly i would check to see if my paragraphs were in the right order.

law schools is an entirely different ball game. i went to see a tutor, i printed, re printed, re printed - killed trees left and right in the process - my draft countless times. triple checked citations, and sentence structure. i did all of this to the point where i have entirely forgotten what i wrote about.

so i guess its not that much different from undergrad?

my brain is entirely mush right now - much like my vegan split pea soup, with added chili flakes & paprika. working upwards of 12 hours a day is very draining.

i think i am picking up the material, but then i attend a TA session and i have NO IDEA what is going on. everyone is in a flurry about finals, and our first one isn't until december 7th. our one professor - my favorite - for contracts is very particular about his exams. you have to cite specific case names, courts & citation numbers. all of this in a three hour span, while spewing out some sort of legible and persuasive argument.

my gosh.

gotta go watch some glee

it must be the weather swings

i wake up in the morning and it is 5 degrees outside.

i walk to the bus and it is approaching 8

i get to school and walk across campus and the temperature is a cool 12 degrees.

i sit in class. the classroom is approximately 32 degrees. the teacher is sweating. she is making quick hand movements and talking about strict liability. my eyes are closing . . .

i have to pee.

leave class to go to the library, i'm starting to get a pressure headache. its a cool -1 degrees in the stacks. i eat my lunch at 1030 am. a cookie n' cream protein bar. the wrapper crinkles loudly, people stare.

its noon and i'm done skimming my readings. i go outside to the courtyard and find an empty table. its a warm 32 degrees in the sun. my head is pounding. i eat a plum and throw the pit down a drain pipe. i look around quickly to make sure no one saw me ...

back inside, in class. the professor is mocking a student who does not know the answer - does silence imply agreement of a contract? of course not. 10 degrees, and i'm wearing my scarf as a blanket.

class finishes. i shuffle to the locker room and organize my books. and scramble to leave the building before i am trampled by the impending crowd.

25 degrees

all the freshmen have arrived. they are moving into their shitty new dorms with boxes full of fans, cheap condoms, and high hopes.

i'm on the bus on the way home, the window is open, and there is a nice breeze. the bus is called the breeze, oddly enough.